Identifying What’s Not Working
Often we struggle along through life compensating for the challenges we experience. Frequently we excuse these struggles as a product of something external from us – somebody or thing usually within our environment.
This process increases our vulnerability to external stressors, while weakening our internal sense of control.
This can create an increasing desire to avoid…sometimes followed by a desire to seek comfort. It could be food, alcohol or other things to distract us
The distractions are initially related to the external stressor. As time goes on, these distractions or avoiding can extended to other things. If allowed to continue, a general pattern to just avoid things develops.
We find ourselves generally putting things off, because they seem too hard.
This often leads to procrastination and lack of motivation or even more complex issues.
Somewhere in this process, an event or internal response reaches a critical threshold. The pain gets too much!
It is at this point we allow the realisation of our need to seep into our consciousness. Once this awareness happens, our ability to ignore, dismiss or diminish reduces. We feel the pain and often think we are stuck.
Sometimes we will seek a temporary solution or reframe what is the need.
This response can provide a temporary relief. However, increases our vulnerability. It starts a pattern of compensating for our need.
As time goes on it requires more attention just to keep the pain from really hitting home.
Our conscious mind justifies this process by highlighting why we don’t or can’t afford to out-rightly address the issue.
This process increases our vulnerability to continue these compensatory mental and physical behaviours. This provides the opportunity to camouflaging the real issue with blame, shame or other externally projected emotional responses. And so the dynamic continues; sometimes, evolving into compulsive, obsessional, addictive or deceitful patterns.
The point of crises differs according to many variables.
For some it is an interpersonal challenge or conflict; others within their environment; some a health crises; and some just reaching that critical internal point of no longer able to tolerate things.
This point may come with conscious awareness of the real issue or a fuzzy sense of how much things have changed. Pain is usually the driver of this awareness.
The one common experience is what most refer to as “STRESS”
The appraisal that our internal resources do not match the external demands
It is this awareness that brings us to the point to seek help beyond our current resources.
The first step in change is awareness.
It is this point of awareness that facilitates reaching out to another.
Personality/temperament styles influence this process. Extroverted individuals will more easily communicate their need. Introverted styles will usually wait longer, often engaging in less engaging resources such as exploring educational material or suffering in silence.
Regardless of how the point to reach out for help occurs; it is Awareness that begins the process of change.
This could be simply the desire to improve an area of your life or overcome a general challenge. For some, this point occurs much later with an individual presenting for therapy with compounding issues and high intensity of internal and/or external pain.
There are varying degrees of expressed need/challenge.
All Individuals are welcomed and treated with compassion and support.
Practitioners are well equipped to support a complex array of needs. There is also the flexibility to collaboratively work with other resources/practitioners.
The process of therapy starts with making an appointment.
Fill in the contact page to arrange your first step in empowering your choice to change.
Book your appointment with The Conscious Psychologist – Kerry Deller